Public Window

Maybe it’s because I’ve been home a lot with the children lately, and in need of adult conversation, but I have been talking to strangers quite a bit. I’ve done this my whole life, but it seems to be more frequent lately. As an example, I was in line at Whole Foods the other day (OMIGOSH have you been there without children? Wonderful!) when some issue was preventing the woman two people in front of me from checking out. The cashier seemed flustered, the woman was for sure irritated, but her three children were actually waiting patiently.

I could have just taken my cart and moved to another line. I could have checked Facebook on my phone. I could have grabbed a nearby for-sale magazine and flipped through it. Instead, I decided to strike up a conversation with the woman in front of me. I was curious as to why she had four bags of carrots. (Did she have a bunny farm? Horses to feed?) So I asked. Turns out, she is juicing. Mostly organic. Carrots with berries, celery, and a lot of other vegetables. She was in her 60s, she told me, and she tried a rutabaga for the first time last week. We chatted about eating healthy, about the benefits of coconut oil, how wonderful her skin looked, and how great Whole Foods was.

In just a few minutes, the issue of checking out was resolved, and the cashier moved on to the juicing woman in front of me. I’m glad I had that conversation with her. I’m glad that I learned a little about juicing, and its benefits. I’m glad that I can do that. However, it got me to thinking – is it just me, or do other people find it easy to talk to strangers? Why do I often choose to chat up a person, rather than just staring down at the phone? In addition, how do we decide, internally, which strangers are “okay” to talk to? Does it take a sense of comfort before you begin a conversation, or is it after? In this age of being so easily connected via social media, why is it often so hard to connect to a person standing right in front of us?

I decided to bring this up to my husband. He said it was a combination of factors. One being that I will talk to just about anyone. He’s right. I do that a lot. Drives him crazy, but it’s a part of me. Two, he thinks shoppers at Whole Foods are just more open to casual conversation, and three, Pittsburghers are that way, too. I wonder, though, where else it’s like this.

A friend of mine moved from Philadelphia to Pittsburgh, and then to Milwaukee. She says the people can be described very easily using the check out line as an analogy. Let’s begin with Philadelphia. In her view, most people there move at a fast pace. The checkout line is all business. The items are scanned, and moved right down the belt. In Pittsburgh, the cashier might pick up a bottle of ketchup and ask your opinion, and tell you her opinion while scanning items. In Milwuakee, though, the cashier will stop the line, pick up the bottle of ketchup, and have a full conversation about her cousin and her favorite ketchup. This poses the question about how geography plays a part in social happenings. Are people down south really nicer, or just as a facade? Are northerners quick to judge and slow to get to know?

I don’t actually know the answers to theses questions, as I am not a social scientist. I will, though, talk to you in line. Maybe it’s just who I am. Maybe next time you find yourself stuck in line somewhere, and decide to strike up a conversation with the stranger near you, I will be that other person, and I’ll tell you what I love about the guacamole at Whole Foods.