I have a to-do list on my refrigerator. It contains things I’d like to get done around the house, including refurbishing an old door into a headboard, painting a dresser for Colleen’s room and buying window treatments for the living room. The list has been either in my head or on paper since we bought this house. That was three years ago this December.
Time is not always on my side.
I love being a mom. I love the playing, the singing, the hugs and the teaching moments we share. Just today we colored on a large sheet of paper. Colleen laid down on her back, and I traced her body. We then colored in her clothes and her hair and her face. My to-do list was happily ignored.
Some day I’ll post pictures from the door as a headboard project. I get to work on it occasionally on the weekends. This past weekend, I finished sanding it and then primed it. I started that project in April, by the way. Bought the door, picked out the colors and it stayed down in the basement until July when I began sanding. It’s now nearly October. If the park beckons, though, the door will be ignored again.
The park is much more fun than sanding.
We had a great weekend. We played on the porch, ate cupcakes and watched the Steeler game with friends.
Today is my dad’s girlfriend’s 75th birthday. We are on our way to a party being thrown by her five children (they are all older than me and live out-of-town). I am filled with hesitation.
It’s not the anticipation of the party, or seeing her family, or even hanging out with my dad that’s got me today. It’s that my brother will be there. I haven’t seen my brother since September 2006. And that was in a courtroom.
My brother has been either in jail or prison since April 2004 when he was arrested for involment in a murder of a young girl. I wasn’t there, so I can’t be sure what happened, but the fact that he was there bothers me. I hope it has bothered him for the last 7 years. I hope he thinks of her and the events that took place in that house. I hope he has been forgiven by God. He says he “found” the Lord while in prison. I wish he had never lost Him.
I’m not sure the if the window for forgiveness is open. Forgiveness by me, that is. For today, for the birthday girl, I have to be there. I imagine it will be awkward. He’s never met my husband, never seen my baby girl. I almost left them at home to protect them and maybe punish him more. Then I decided it’s not really up to me. He has to forgive himself. There is a line in a Don Henley song that goes, “I’ve been trying to get down to the heart of the matter but my will gets weak, and my thoughts seem to scatter and I think it’s about forgiveness, forgiveness, even if, even if, you don’t love me anymore.”
This is my window. Today its open to see if forgiveness can come in.
This was my window at lunch today. A beautiful view of Pittsburgh.
Well today’s window was a year in the making. I finally hung the 6-month pictures we had taken of the baby. My pictures of the project aren’t the best since they are from my Droid.
Picture 1 is a close-up of the saying hung on the left. I found it on Pinterest yesterday, and it’s one of the reasons I finally finished. I guess I just needed something else along with the pictures.
Pic 2 is the set-up. I saw that on someone else’s blog a while ago, and loved the idea. I cut out paper the same size and shape of the pictures, then hung them on the wall using painter’s tape. I have had about 10 arrangements since April when I bought the frames. (all IKEA)
Then I had to get some tea. It was Friday night, I was tired.
Then I finally hung the pictures. Baby captured at Mellon Park August 2010, hung August 2011. Better late than never.
Windows are sometimes long.
Welcome to Thisismywindow.
My window varies each day. It might be a view I thought enough of to post, a time-frame I had available, or my thoughts on a subject.
It’s my window. I hope you enjoy.
Welcome to WordPress.com. After you read this, you should delete and write your own post, with a new title above. Or hit Add New on the left (of the admin dashboard) to start a fresh post.
Here are some suggestions for your first post.
- You can find new ideas for what to blog about by reading the Daily Post.
- Add PressThis to your browser. It creates a new blog post for you about any interesting page you read on the web.
- Make some changes to this page, and then hit preview on the right. You can alway preview any post or edit you before you share it to the world.
thisismywindow 